Brian had to go to Keesler for the Air Force this weekend, so I was left to my own devices with the kids. Usually, I blame all our crazy hecticness of the weekend on Brian, but I think it may be me.
Friday
600 - I’m still soundly asleep, but Jax is up and demanding tea “MOMMY, I WANT TEA AND MILK AND NO HONEY, AND HOT TEA AND ALL STIRRED UP.” “That’s nice, Jackson, but how do you ask for that?” “UMM... MAY I HAVE SOME TEA AND MILK AND NO HONEY, AND HOT TEA AND ALL STIRRED UP.... PWEESE.”
0630 - I finally cave to the above demands and get up.
0715 - Riley decides to come and investigate all the ruckus.
0730 - After getting the kids fed and almost dressed (left with only the assignment to get their shoes and socks on), I manage to hop into the shower, only to have to hop out again in 2 minutes to investigate the screaming coming from the other room (oh well, shampooing is overrated, anyway.)
0745 - Put Zurg in time-out and threaten the very life of Buzz Lightyear. Decide it’s not worth the hassle to change the shoes onto the right feet and address the backwards underwear and shorts. The carpool for preschool is waiting in the driveway. Send him to school the way he is and figure they’ll understand. Then realize that Riley’s lunch isn’t packed yet, and she’s still in the middle of an imaginary game with a couple of scarves instead of getting her shoes on. Throw leftover sandwich and some carrots in her lunchbag, shoes on her feet and hustle her out the door by 0800
0808 Drop Riley off at the neighbor’s and hurry to work.
0815 - make it to work - late again.
1238 - Finish with patients and paperwork and run out the door to make it to Riley’s school in order to volunteer at art class
1240 - Riley’s class arrives at art. Riley gets a hug and goes to sit down. I and the art teacher notice that one child is carrying his shoes - so she requests he put them back on.
1300 - After declining multiple attempts to get above child to put his shoes back on, the art teacher send me and him into the hallway to address the issue
1305 - Still no shoes on. I’ve shown him how to untie each shoe, but he still can’t muster the coordination/strength/obedience to actually get the shoes on his feet (“but it’s too hard!”) I absolutely decline to put the shoes on his feet for him. “If my 3 year old can put on his own shoes, so can you.” I tell him
1308 - After about 10 minutes of his whining and flailing about on the linoleum while trying to get me to put on and tie his shoe for him, I finally managed to threaten him (with his name on the board) back into his shoes and into the classroom. (See, parenting Jackson IS good for me. I would never had been prepared for the above interaction based on experience with Riley, I’m a much meaner mommy now...)
1340 - Art class over, I head back home for lunch and maybe an episode of CSI before going to pick up Jackson.
1415 - I decide that CSI is too scary to watch by myself, and go and pick up Jackson a little early.
1500 - Jax and I go and pick up Riley
1530 - We all come home, quick change into swim suits to go to the pool. Jax absolutely refuses sunscreen, so I spread a towel on the carpet, catch him, pin him down and slather him with SPF 80, all the while he is screaming bloody murder. Riley is much more amenable to the sunscreen idea after this show of force.
1600 - Arrive at the pool and swim until both kids are blue enough to warrant leaving. (Jackson is insisting he’s not cold, and yet intrigued with the idea of the color change “I’M B-B-B-B-LUE, M-M-M-M-OMMY? I’M B-B-B-BLUE?”)
1800 - Strip everyone down and hose off the chlorine and sunscreen before dressing them back up to look respectable for Riley’s piano recital.
1900 - Riley’s piano recital. We arrived early at the auditorium and made our way inside. I was a little dubious about Jackson’s ability to sit still for the 45 minutes of the recital, and so was grateful one of Riley’s friend’s and family had come too. Worst case scenario, I could run out with Jax and let them wait for Riley. We were all getting ready for the performance to start when one of the other mom’s asked if she could video her child’s performance. The response? “Oh, no. That would be against the rules” said one very elderly piano teacher “why, when I was the chairperson of the State Concerto Competition we never allowed video cameras.” So even though this was definitely NOT a state concerto competition, we could not stand in the back of the room and video our own child’s performance. Crazy.
So crazy, in fact, that I just assumed they didn’t really mean it. I tried to surreptitiously video her performance, but as I had to do it without looking like I was doing anything, I don’t think I got it at all. Oh well. I then spent the rest of the recital trying to keep Jackson from shouting and giggling at the motorcycle racing game on my iphone and trying to get Riley to turn around and face forwards and stop poking at the little boy beside her (she was 2 rows ahead of us in the “Recital Participant” area)
8PM - Recital over, I head with the kids to the Niceville High School football stadium for the annual Relay for Life event. It’s a 24 hour community walk/run around the track for cancer awareness and fundraising. My clinic sponsors it and has a booth. I wanted to stop by and confirm that it was still okay for me to drop the kids off in the early am so I could run with Kristen. The kids love it because all the booths are set up around the track and each one has some sort of game and some sort of food that is usually forbidden to them (candy, cookies, marshmallows). We walked around one lap, played a couple of games and I allowed the kids one sweet thing apiece.
8:30 - I manage to get the kids to leave Relay for Life and on the way back to the car Jackson has to go potty. There’s no portapotty in sight, so I let him pee behind a tree. Then, decided we needed a couple of items for the early am camp-out, and went to Kmart.
9pm - One Jackson-melt-down later, we exit the Kmart with a small “Dora” tent and a sleeping bag (complete with flashlight) for Jackson (Riley already had one), as well as a toy for the birthday party we’ve agreed to attend the following day. Jackson picked it out. “It’s for the BABY’S birthday tomorrow, Jax, remember that.”
9:15 - Jackson tries to convince me that he IS a baby and therefore the toy is for him.
9:45 - both kids in bed, I decide to make homemade granola bars for the following morning.
Midnight - I finally decide to go to bed.
Saturday
3:45 AM - My alarm goes off. I adroitly disable the alarm and proceed to fall back asleep and dream I’m running. (I had pretty good splits, too)
4:45 - I wake up, realize I’m supposed to be at the high school already.
5AM - I have tossed both kids into the car with their sleeping bags and tent and am on the way to the school
5:15 - I set the kids up with sleeping bags, tent, granola bars (known to my kids as “cookies”) and my iphone.
5:20 - pause in my running to referee a squabble over who gets to hold the iphone
5:25 - stop to clean up spilled water in the Dora tent
6am - finish running, gather up the kids and supplies and head to coffee shop with Kristen and Joe
630 - Coffee shop is still closed, so reconvene to my house for coffee on the deck.
830 - After Kristen and Joe leave, get the kids looking presentable, douse them in sunscreen again and gather swimming gear
9am - Christy and Nicole arrive to pick us up for brunch and playground time at Baytowne Warfe
10am - Arrive at Baytowne, put our names on the waitlist at “Another Broken Egg” restraurant for the “15-20 minute wait” promised us by the hostess. I head to playground with the kids, Christy waits with pager, ready to call us back when our table is ready.
1030 - Still waiting for our table, I come back with the kids in order to take Riley to the bathroom and wash out the sunscreen she’s managed to rub in her eyes. Nicole is mad that Riley won’t play with her, so I try to patiently explain that at the moment, Riley can not see.
1045 - 45 minutes after the start of the 15-20 minute wait, Our table finally ready, we sit down and prepare to order instantly.... only to have the waitress completely vanish after taking our drink order.
1055 - Place breakfast order
1110 - realize we will have no time to eat, and hurriedly try to change to a to-go order... just as our food arrives at the table. We hurriedly shove everything into to-go containers and head to the car hoping we can make it to the other side of Destin in time for the girl’s swim lesson.
11:30 - Girls are just in time for swimming, and we finally get to eat. Happily munch on breakfast while amazedly watch the instructors teach our 6-year-olds the butterfly stroke.
1230 - Dry and dress the girls, and pile everyone back in the car to go BACK to the restaurant for the bag of webkins puppies that we inadvertently left under our breakfast table.
1:45 - Arrive back at home, transfer sleeping Jackson from Christy’s car to mine, hurriedly wrap the birthday present and head back out with Riley and Jax (he’s still asleep), up to Crestview for a birthday party.
2:30 Arrive at the party, plop still-sleeping Jackson on the couch and try to get Riley to stop hiding behind me and say “Hello” to everyone.
4pm - Birthday party over, we head back home. Riley wishes she could do some thing to cool off. “How about swimming?” Sure, why not.
5:45 - Herd the kids back out of the swimming pool and head for a quiet dinner at home. Plug them into “Finding Nemo” and decide to make a Vegetable curry (so much for easy dinner).
8:30 - Everyone is finally fed, movie is over and we’re all in bed.
Sunday
6:30 - Get up and get ready for babysitter.
7AM - Baby sitter arrives and Jackson wakes up simultaneously. Try to explain to baby sitter about Jax and his tea, decide it’s just easier to make it for him myself.
7:10 - out the door with Skoshi for a trail run with Kristen, Joe and Misty
8:00 - arrive back at home, dismayed to have only accomplished 5 miles (darn sandy trails - slow me down every time!) Drop off Skosh, tell Jax he can watch one show and head back out for a few more miles.
805 - get call from the baby sitter who can’t decipher our DVR system. So turn around and head back home
810 - I can’t figure out the DVR either, so I pop in a video and head back out.
830 - Finally done with 8 miles, baby sitter goes home and I herd the kids out the door and onto their bikes for a trip to the coffee shop. (Riley has to bring her 3 favorite webkins with her, and Jax simply can not got without his backpack - packed with walkie-talkie on one side and flashlight on the other).
1030 - back home from the coffee shop, I start packing for our trip up to Baker to see the baby horses (a friend of mine breeds horses).
1230 - Finally make it up to Baker. Bev is not around, so we wander over to the fence to gaze at the baby horses. The kids each have a carrot in hand that they are holding through the fence, while Jax yells “HORSES, WE HAVE CARROTS HERE! HORSES!” Not surprisingly, the horses decline to come anywhere near us (and I always thought horses were dumb). Bev finally came back to the house from the back pasture, and led us in to see the baby horses. My kids were enraptured! Later, while walking back to the car, I noted Jackson holding the front of his pants.
“Jax, do you have to go potty?”
“NOPE”
“Are you sure?”
“YUP”
(it was obvious he had to go but didn’t want to miss all the excitement - so I suggested that he might be able to just pee behind a tree. This was the country, after all.)
“OKAY”
I then turned around to seek out a private tree, only to turn back (amidst gasps and giggles) to find Jax had stripped off his pants and underwear and was holding his tshirt up to his armpits. I hurriedly try to reclothe him and explain that it’s probably best to be more discrete when peeing in public. Jackson, unfortunately, has become quite aware of the effect this stripping antic has had on everyone, and runs away giggling. Great. I can just hear the reprimand from his preschool teacher now.) I did, however have the presence of mind to snap a picture. I can’t post it on the internet, though.... to see that one you’ll have to come to Jackson’s wedding in 25 years.
2:00 - We ran out of carrots, and so packed back into the car and headed to the Strawberry Farm just up the road for some Strawberry shortcake. While there, the kids get to pet a puppy and a baby goat. This was quite the weekend for baby animals. Must be spring.
2:30 - Since we hadn’t done quite enough this weekend, I head back out to the strawberry fields to pick some berries.
3:00 - I realize we’re cutting it close for our pool play date at 4pm, and shuttle the kids back home for another quick change into still-damp swim suits.
5:30 - Once again try to convince the kids that they are far too cold to contine swimming. Jackson is completely at the end of his poor little sleep-deprived rope (hmmn, wonder why), and has decided that one of the other little boys at the pool has stolen his water torpedo (a toy from Target). He has a TOTAL melt down, which requires me to forcibly restrain him from ambushing the other little boy. In spite of my numerous attempts to reassure him that his torpedo is at home, he is utterly inconsolable. The playdate ends with the other family ackwardly excusing themselves and driving off with uncomfortable waves while I stand over the puddle of boy that was once my beloved Jackson, now shrieking on the floorboards of the backseat of the car.
6:30 - Somehow manage to scoop Jax into his carseat, make it home and feed the kids leftover curry. Brian gets home shortly thereafter, and seems somewhat perplexed by the 3 exhausted family members staring wanly at him.
“Nice to see you. Ah, we’re going to bed.”
My skills at weekend event planning bear a remarkable similarity to my skills at burrito construction. Somehow it all fits, but it’s never pretty.
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